OLIVIER'S HANDYMAN

He showed up whenever he wanted, worked approx. 3 hours/day. Broke a hammer and a watering can and never replaced them. Left trash all over. He and his partner bickered and cursed - 7 feet from where I sat working. Made repeated offensive jokes and references. And the kicker: He was almost done (thank god), the weather was bad, and he asked to be paid in advance for a last outdoor job. Our agreement: he was to call to schedule the work once the weather improved. Four sunny days - no word. Then he arrived SATURDAY a.m. Unannounced and rang my TENANT'S bell. (NOT cool.) My partner told him he had to come back another time. The strongest words used were ''this does not work''. When I called the next day, he was irate: ''I don't have to take this!'' At this point, we were through. He'd left a hand truck in my yard. Messages we left saying ''refund our money and retrieve your hand truck'' were ignored. Then today, by mail, we got a bill. For... HAND TRUCK.

Olivier was easy to talk to and listened carefully about the job and then spent time looking it all over. He was willing to give me an estimate at no charge. I had gotten three other estimates and his was the best, plus he detailed the amount of preparation necessary before the walls could take the paint. The job turned out beautiful! You couldn't tell we went through an earthquake here.